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    March 18

    人的矛盾心理

      不知道自己最近在想些什么,很是羡慕那些有"主"的朋友,突然很羡慕他们,觉得他们很幸福,虽然羡慕,但是自己却不想接触这些.可能是自己太小心,太在意了.但是我也明白,太过小心对自己太过苛刻了.或许放松自己会更好.
       自己总是想的很好,却不想做到,更有可能是不敢做到.虽然我们的结束并不愉快,但是我们也有快乐,幸福的过程,那些现在总出现在我的脑海里,真的很怀念那种感觉,喜欢耍赖,喜欢不讲理,习惯了身边有个人.但是这一切已经是过去式.已经开始习惯一个人的生活,这样比两个人更自由,但是同时也感觉到其中的孤单,人总是那么矛盾,在拥有了一部分之后,还贪婪的想念着另一半.
       其实不是不知道自己在想什么,就是不想让自己相信自己的想法,就因为自己有了个想法,所以才让自己矛盾,让自己不知道到底该怎么办.
       有时真的希望生活就象童话,他只是一个故事,只能有美好而固定的死板结局.
    12:53 2006-3-15

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